Going No Contact with my Son's Father

After nine long years of prioritizing everyone else's needs above my own, I am finally taking a bold step to put myself first, I have decided to go no contact with my son's father. This has been one of the most challenging decisions I've ever faced, but I’ve come to the painful realization that I am no longer the vibrant person I used to be.

I once radiated joy, warmth, and generosity, but now I feel like a shadow of my former self—broken and bitter. It’s time for a transformation! I yearn to rediscover happiness, to travel to new places and embrace different cultures, and to experience love that is genuine and mutual. I can no longer allow myself to be used and trampled on; I am ready to stand up for my own worth!

LEAVING TOXIC, NOT EASY BUT MUST BE DONE

As a coach, I guide countless women on the vital journey of prioritizing themselves, yet I find myself neglecting my own needs. Deep down, I recognize my worth and strength, but my intense desire for a family has led me to lose parts of myself along the way. Hitting 40 has brought about significant changes that I never anticipated! Over the past nine years, I have faced a myriad of emotional and physical challenges that have tested my resilience. Now, I am ready to break free from those constraints and embark on the personal journey I often encourage other women to pursue. I invite you to join me on this transformative path! No Contact will be challenging, but my mental health is important!

No Contact, have you tried it?

You might be wondering what my breaking point was and why it has come to this now. Recently, I discovered some distressing news that made me realize I can no longer support him in the way I once did. For the past two weeks, he has treated me in a way that has been incredibly painful, and despite my suffering, I felt compelled to maintain a cheerful facade, pretending that everything was okay. To keep my peace of mind, it is best to go No Contact!

The way he has shattered my heart is nothing short of devastating; I can no longer ignore the emotional turmoil he has caused. He seems to want me to simply brush aside his actions and continue moving forward as if nothing happened, without offering even a sincere apology for the hurt he has inflicted. Instead, he portrays himself as the victim, which only adds to my frustration. I’ve reached a point where I realize that I deserve better than this treatment, and it’s time for me to prioritize my own well-being. I have to go No Contact because he really has control over my mind, it is a dangerous thing! 

During one of our text battles, which we have had many, but this one just stood out to me. This man texted three times and called me a BITCH! The crazy part is he has called me a BITCH before; I know why in the hell would you let this dust mite talk to you that way. GIIIIRRRLLLL, it was not the D!ck, it was the idea of having a family! It was the idea of knowing my son would only be around his biological parents, but Lord, what I was putting myself through and what I was exposing my son to was WRONG and definitely not healthy!

It is a must; I go No Contact with my son's father!

You might wonder what made this time different, and honestly, it just hits you when a woman is fed up! This time, I didn’t shed a tear; I was furious, not hurt, just angry. How dare he call me a "bitch"? Not just once, but three times! He typed it out and pressed send repeatedly. Clearly, he has no respect for me, and I realized this is NOT the kind of person my son should look up to.

2023 was a rough year, and the year that I lost our daughter was bumpy, and we stopped speaking to each other for a while. 2024, things just slowly fell back into our flow, but I was not truly happy; hell, neither of us was happy. On my birthday in 2024, I was on a cruise with my son and family; I told myself I could not continue like this! I talked to him; he said he would change yet again...I gave him a chance but did not let my wall down fully! Christmas Eve, he got to the house at 10 pm, and I knew then it was over; this is NOT a family! When he came into the room and tried to touch me, I pushed him away, and of course, he became angry. Yup, another reason to go, No Contact!

I cried all night; I wasn't crying because of hurt; I was crying because I knew it was over! I woke up Christmas morning, putting a smile on my face for my son.

Protecting my peace of MIND-NO Contact!

He gave me my Christmas gift and then tried to have sex with me in the kitchen. I told him he needed to leave, and we didn't see him again until January 5th. When I didn't respond how he wanted me to on January 5th, he made my life difficult on January 6th. I remember just crying and crying. That's when I started my FAST! I went limited No Contact and he manipulated his way back in....

To be continued....

Many people might be curious about the concept of "No Contact" and whether it is a fair approach. In my opinion, establishing this boundary is crucial for creating a healthy co-parenting relationship in the future. When emotions run high and negative communication occurs, it can be incredibly damaging to both individuals involved as well as to the children.

Consider how you would feel if someone you had to communicate with frequently insulted you by calling you derogatory names, like "bitch," in text messages. The impact of such words can be hurtful and create a toxic atmosphere. In that situation, it's natural to want to distance yourself from that negativity and limit interactions to protect your own well-being.

By choosing to implement No Contact, I am prioritizing the emotional health of everyone involved. This decision allows us both to take a step back, clear our minds, and create the necessary space to navigate our co-parenting journey in a more positive and constructive way.